American parents worry most about whether their
children will have good character and values and they see America's popular
culture as their adversary, according to a new
survey.
"Parents today are struggling very hard
to raise respectful, responsible, well-behaved children," said Deborah
Wadsworth, president of Public Agenda, which yesterday released its parenting
survey, "A Lot Easier Said Than Done."
But 76
percent of parents felt their job was "a lot harder" than what their parents
faced, said the survey, based on telephone interviews of 1,607 parents of
children ages 5 to 17.
The previous generation
of parents went through hardships and world wars, "but we did not feel as if our
kids were surrounded by hazards of every kind," Mrs. Wadsworth
said.
"We felt there were allies —
institutional allies — and the real world reinforced the values that we wanted
to teach our kids," she said. "My sense from this study, and it's really
painful, is that parents just feel absolutely abandoned they feel as if they are
being sabotaged at every turn."
Most of those
surveyed loved being parents, Mrs. Wadsworth added, noting that 89 percent
strongly agreed with the statement, "Being a parent is wonderful — I wouldn't
trade it for the world."
But many parents feel
cornered by a popular culture that is antithetical to their beliefs and values,
she said.
For instance, the survey asked
parents to choose their "biggest challenge" out of three choices: protecting
their children from "negative societal influences," finding enough time together
as a family or keeping up with household
expenses.
Nearly half, 47 percent, said they
were most concerned about shielding their children from "negative societal
influences."
These negative influences included
drugs and alcohol, someone seeking to harm their children, anti-social peer
groups and media messages.
Television was
blamed for its incessant vulgar language, violence and "adult" themes,
especially between 8 p.m. and 10 p.m.
"Soon
they'll be killing people on the cooking channel," said a father who attended
one of 12 focus groups cited in the survey released by Public Agenda, a
nonpartisan public-opinion research firm.
Such
findings are of interest to State Farm Insurance Cos., which funded the survey
along with the Family Friendly Programming Forum, a group of 40 national
advertisers committed to pro-family
programming.
"Knowing what parents value most
gives us insights into what society values and what we can expect of future
generations," said Edward B. Rust Jr., State Farm's chairman and chief
executive.
"It's true that parents are fighting
a very difficult and often-losing battle, even when they do their best," said
Amitai Etzioni, director of the Institute for Communitarian Policy Studies at
George Washington University, a think tank focusing on issues affecting civil
society.
It's also true that popular culture
has become coarsened, he said, noting that the Internet, which arrived a decade
or so ago, now has pornographic "pop-up" ads that children may
see.
Still, parents aren't alone in their
battles, Mr. Etzioni said.
"There are some
dedicated teachers left. There are churches in which they can park their
children. It's not as monolithically one-way" against them as they may think, he
said.
The key ingredient of a civil society is
its moral infrastructure, he said, adding that America's moral fabric "is
frayed" and needs to be restored. As a result, parents may have to work harder
to form groups with like-minded peers and align themselves with institutions —
places of worship, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, YMCAs, even soccer teams — that
share their values, he said.
Highlights of
the Public Agenda survey include:
•The top
five "absolutely essential" values that parents want for their children are for
them to be honest and truthful, respectful of others, self-disciplined, striving
for academic excellence, and
self-sufficient.
•When asked about their
success in teaching these values to their children, 50 percent or more of
parents said they had done a good job teaching courtesy, honesty and academic
excellence. However, only 38 percent said they had been successful in teaching
self-sufficiency and 34 percent said they had taught self-control
successfully.